Adulting 101: Lessons I Learned

Could anyone ever believe we’re only a few months away from flipping another page of the calendar for a whole new year? That’s right, in 3 days it will be August already. So here’s a new blog to make up for the months I was missing in action. I’ve been caught up with a lot of things lately. Of course, that includes laziness. Anyhow, here are some of the lessons I learned as I go on adulting.

  1. Prioritize yourself. This is not being selfish, remember that. You can’t always think of other people first. Don’t wait ‘til you get so fed up. Have some time to pamper yourself. Get a mani-pedi. Buy that bag you have always wanted. Get a massage. When you are happy with yourself, it is easy for you to share your love to everyone.
  2. Change your unwanted attitude if you must. Eliminate the “well, this is who I am, take it or leave it” mentality. Sometimes we have to compromise to work things out. Think about other people’s annoying attitude. Don’t you just wish they would hopefully change it?
  3. Stop regretting. There’s no way you could turn back the time. Regrets only make you sad. Why not ponder on the lesson you learned? That way, you’ll be consoled. Don’t ever regret something that has happened because you’ll never be where you are right now if that “something” didn’t happen.
  4. Appreciate what you have before it’s gone. Oftentimes, we take things for granted just because we know they would always keep coming back. But what if one day they won’t? Be mature enough to value the things that you have. You never know some people wish they have it.
  5. It’s okay not to be okay for a while. As the saying goes, you can’t appreciate happiness when you haven’t experienced pain. You’ll be fine. When I was at my darkest moments last year, I let myself be lonely and sad. I let the pain run through my veins. I let my tears drowned me. For a while, I let myself be vulnerable because I know when things aren’t right, it is not yet the end. I did not pretend that I was alright, because the longer I deny the fact that I am not okay, the longer I will heal. There is nothing wrong with being weak in some time of your life. However, we should also know how to get up.
  6. Stop being so hard on yourself. Don’t rush things. Just because you have done it early does not mean you are doing it right. You know, there was one time when I told my boyfriend that if he is still not planning on marrying me by X year, we should just end our relationship. Then I realized, I shouldn’t expect someone to be ready for something just because I am ready for it. I don’t have the right to direct his life and besides, things that happen by God’s will are always better than our plans.
  7. Have a social media detox. You don’t need to be updated on what’s everyone doing with their lives. You don’t need to broadcast what you are eating, where you are currently, and the like. You don’t need to filter and edit your photos just to gain compliments. It’s funny how hooked I was to social media before. I had to post something new daily and I would constantly check the number of likes going on. What a waste of time. What was I even trying to prove? That I am better than someone just because I got more comments and likes? When I think of it now, it is so pathetic and immature. I won’t deny, I still update my social media accounts but not anymore as much as I did way before. In fact, I don’t even check those who reacted on my posts. I barely reply on nonsense chats and I prefer to watch YouTube videos of my favorite vloggers who inspire in some ways. Social Media influencers are supposed to influence you to be a better person, not to be someone else you are not.
  8. Stop hoarding. This is my worst habbit. Exhibit A: I keep buying bags. Some of them I haven’t even used yet. My mother once told me that my Chinese grandpa would always say, if you still have something that can be used, don’t buy another one yet.
  9. Complain less. Appreciate more. I used to always complain whenever things don’t go the way I planned. A little uncomfortable thing could irritate me and I would rant about it for days. But lately, I’ve come to ignore the shortcomings and just look on the silver lining instead. I have practiced to convince myself that complaining doesn’t help at all. It only gives me stress.
  10. Stay away from negativity. I tell you, it really makes a difference to surround yourself with positive people. I have friends before who kept judging my life decisions that sometimes it would affect my mental health. I would even question myself if I was doing the right thing or not. They made me confuse all the time. It felt horrible. I decided to cut our communication. I didn’t want to lose them as my friends, but they were toxic. When it comes to friends, it should always be quality over quantity.
  11. Come out of your comfort zone. You’ll never discover the things you are capable of until you do it. take the risk but don’t test the waters with both feet. It took me years to get out from my previous job because I was afraid no one else would hire me. I was afraid I’m not skilled enough. I was afraid to face a new environment. Little did I know, the world outside my comfort zone would make my life so much better. Had I only known I can do things I am doing now, I should have done this a long time ago. But then again, no regrets. Everything fell into place at the right time.
  12. Work to live not live to work. No matter how dedicated you are to your job, instill in your mind that you are not going to work there forever. Get enough rest. You only have one body. No one else would take care of it but you. Spend your day offs by doing something relaxing. After all, it is not “your” company.
  13. Invest on something. Whether it’s life/health insurance, stock exchange, real estate, or business. Prepare for your future self and family. You don’t want to work for your whole life to sustain your daily needs. Spend your money wisely.
  14. Spend what is left after saving. I have read this around five years ago. Sure, it made sense to me but I never practiced it. When I left my first job, I had no enough savings to sustain myself. I have put my money into long term investments which by the way, is not so wise at all. I should have an emergency fund. But now, I keep a note to list down the exact amount of my monthly bills including my bi-monthly allowance for food and transpo. What’s left should be put into my savings. I intentionally opened another bank account where I cannot withdraw the money because I did not want to know how, so it remains untouched.
  15. Invest on your spiritual life. Everything in this world is temporary. Live your life for the one who created you. Do things that will please the Lord. I am not trying to sound holy here. I admit, I don’t get to attend Sunday service every single week. But I never forget to praise God for His amazing works. I may not be able to give my tithe in the church, but I compromise by being good to other people and to myself.


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