A Letter to My 30-year-old Self

So… 30 huh? Big deal. Not everyone is fortunate enough to make it this far. Congratulations, you are officially an adult! Or actually, you already were when you turned 18. But here’s to the real deal. I bet you are married now and have started your own little family. You have been sleepless since you had your firstborn child about a year ago or two. Probably you are still in your corporate job because you have more bills to pay now. But your boss is kind enough to allow you to come in the office at least once a week, so you have more time at home. I hope you have finally established your dream business – selling clothes and a mini grocery store which you manage on weekends. That is where you are the boss.

Your newly bought house still smells like paint in some rooms. You have done all the interior design because that’s one of your dreams. You have your own room/home office/walk in closet where you hide when you are in DND mode or feel the need to escape from adulthood for just a few hours. One of the walls is painted differently for an accent that epitomizes your personality. Your collection of bags and shoes is finally displayed like a showcase. You have a separate room for your husband’s stuffs just because his things are too masculine to be mixed with yours.

I believe you had an intimate wedding held at a beautiful garden in Cebu or Tagaytay on a summer. You have always been a lover of weddings ever since you were a flower girl. You have been a bridesmaid for countless times and you cry at weddings, even in the movies. Your groom cried while watching you walked down the aisle in a white gown you scored at less than ten thousand bucks. It was the most magical moment of your life that you framed some of the beautiful shots in every corner of your house.

I know you are still catching up with your girl friends once in a blue moon and all you talk about are marriage and babies and the reality of adulthood. Only that, you are no longer hosting sleepovers because you still have to go home to prepare for your family’s dinner. I know you don’t complain about cooking (God, I wish you are a better cook now), cleaning the house all day, doing the laundry, and taking care of your child at the same time. You were made for this. You were made to be a mother and a wife. You have always wanted to serve your loved ones and look out for them without asking for anything in return.

Of course, you have been reading bedtime stories to your little one. You love books. Except that now you are no longer buying romance and chick flick novels, but rather fairytales. Well, you still read your adult books in wee hours when everyone’s asleep and snoring.

As happy as you are in life right now, there are moments when you feel exhausted with all the house chores that you do alone. But at the end of the day, you never forget to thank the Heavens for your beautiful and crazy life. You asked for this – a family of your own.

Thank goodness to your younger years that you did not spend your Friday and Saturday nights going out clubbing, drinking alcohol until you couldn’t remember your name, and wasting all your hard-earned money. You still have a lot of energy in your 30’s.

You know, the independence that was brought to you when your parents were always miles away when you were younger has prepared you to do things on your own under less supervision of guardians. The life-changing decision that you took when you left Cebu for Manila has made you solid enough to survive, to learn how to cook (thanks YouTube and free online recipes), to take care of yourself when you get sick. The moment you started earning your own money has made you realize the value of every penny and to manage your finances well. The heartbreaks from the relationships you had with boys and friends have made you more careful not to be fooled easily. All the battles that you went through have prepared you enough for this – the woman that you are today.

Dear 30 year-old-self, perhaps you now have a clearer vision of which path you want to take, what goals you want to achieve, and what kind of life you want to live. Whatever you’ve become, I am proud of you. Keep on writing until you publish your own book.

This entry was posted in Random.

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